Another long rant...So here goes am i being stupid?

The best thing to do is be honest with her and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. When it comes to being in a relationship, the most important person to make happy first is yourself. If you are unhappy then you need to tell the other person that and see if you can work it out. If it doesn't work out then don't worry, there are plenty of fish in the sea (super cliche).